How Do You Define Success?

What is your definition of ‘Success?’  It’s different for everyone.  For some, it may mean a large income and big house.  For others, it’s the achieving a big goal, like completing a marathon, and for others still, it may mean simply feeling happy.  Have you ever defined what your successful life would be like?

Sometimes, when we are not sure of what we want, we start living life in whatever fashion it comes to us – usually it’s formed by others around you.  This can cause feelings of loss of self and that you are not living a life that you own.  If you are going through the motions and working or doing things because you believe you “should,” or in order to please someone else, you are in fact, not living a life that is your own.  Although the appearances of success may be there – a good income, a beautiful house, a nice car – the success probably feels empty.  This is because it is not your success, as you would define it, for your life.

How do you get onto the road of really living a successful and fulfilling life?  As a coach, I often work with clients who have a dream and are ready to work to achieve it.  What I soon discover, however, is that this dream is a very watery, filmy ideal and not a crystal clear vision.  Because it is nearly impossible to achieve your goals when they are not comprehensible, the first step we take together is to clarify their vision and truly make it their own.

In order to gain a clear vision of what you want in your life, and define your personal version of success, I suggest the following steps:

1. Start by allowing yourself to daydream.  Yes, take some time alone and give yourself permission to conjure up anything you would like to have for your life.  Paint this mental picture with as many details as you can and involve all your senses.  What would your ideal life feel like?  Where would you be? What scents would come to your nose?  How does it look?  What do you hear?  Where are your hands, and what are they touching?  Who is with you?  Go wild with this! If you want to be wearing a pink boa and riding in a red Ferrari with the top down – go for it! Create your vision for all the different aspects of your life:  Finances, Career, Family, Friends, Learning, Fun and Entertainment, Spirituality and your Contributions.  Life is not segmented in any way, everything you do affects all parts of your life, so your vision must be well rounded and complete.
2. Now that you’ve given yourself this gift and have a picture of what you want, be sure to capture it in a journal, painting, vision board, or recording.  As you are depicting your ideals, you are strengthening your vision.  Does everything still feel good to you?  If you find that the pink boa is starting to tickle your nose, feel free to change it to a yellow silk scarf.  The point is that this is your dream and vision of your life.  No one else’s.
3. Next, think about what one thing can you do immediately to start yourself moving in the direction of achieving and living your successful life?  Taking the largest amount of action you possibly can will reinforce your goals.  Your psyche and your soul will see that you are serious about living life on your terms, once you take action.

Success is a journey, not a destination, but knowing exactly what you want, and starting to take steps to get there, will provide you with a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.  This is the beginning of greater things in your life.  Once you have tasted success, you will only want more and now you know what direction to head, it can only mean one thing; life is coming to you on your terms!

The Value of You!

“If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” ~ Anonymous

 

Do you value yourself as much as you should? If you do, how does it show in your life? And if you don’t, what is missing in your life because of this?

Many clients, looking to change careers and start new businesses, are concerned with how much time the preparation and work will actually consume. After delving a little deeper, it clear that my client is putting everyone else first and pushing his or her desires down to the bottom of the list, thus not putting full value upon themselves. As the “but, I’m a mom/dad,” cry emanates, the need look at what’s unfolding here is apparent.

Life is busy these days and you may be running from soccer to caring for an elderly parent and running a household. These are the realistic facts in today’s life, but take a lesson from the oft heard spiel on an airplane. It’s explained that if the oxygen masks drop down, to “put the mask over your own face first and then help the person next to you.” Why? Well, if you are passing out from lack of oxygen, you won’t be able to help anyone else. Without understanding the full value of who you are, and not taking care of yourself first, you won’t be able to help, organize and care for anyone else.

In relating this to your career or business, look at the big picture. If you work within an office, the person who empties the garbage is just as important as the person who founded the company. Without someone cleaning up the workspace, it would become an unsanitary, unworkable place. Without the idea and backing of the founder of the company, there would be no place to work. One does not function without the other and you fit into the mix too. Learn where you fit in. Then think if there is a way to make your part more valuable to your employer or offer that value when looking at a new job.

Understanding your personal value is important during an interview process too. During an interview, you are showing the potential employer what the value is of your experience and how it relates to the position. They, in turn, will look at this to determine what price, or salary, they will pay for your work. If you do not appreciate your own significance, how will the employer regard you?

Take time to appreciate your own self worth and this rise in your self esteem will be met by the rest of the world.

Life is About Making Change

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

YOU are special. Somewhere, deep inside, you know this to be true.  However, along your life travels, you started to question this, on the outside.  The wonder with which you came to this earth cannot be lost from you, it can only be buried.  The time has come for you to excavate your gifts, expose, and make use of them.

Does this scare you? If it does, then you are like most people, and that’s okay.  Trying something new, especially when it relates to your deep inner self, is often a big cause of fear.  But what is fear, anyway?  Fear is our personal reaction to the unknown.  It’s the response we choose when we are unsure of what will happen, or when we resist change.  If you have buried your greatest gifts deeply, then it will be a great change indeed to start to bring them out and use them.

How can you get past the fear and trust that all will fit once you recognize your talents?  Start with small steps and build upon your success. Think back through your life and remember a time when things went right for you.  Come on, I know you have some examples of this.  You know which times I mean, like the time you found the perfect gift for a dear friend and they loved it.  Perhaps it was the time you needed to give a presentation at work and the power went out.  You stepped up to the plate and were able to knock ‘em dead without that PowerPoint show.   Think of anything and everything that has gone right.

After you have collected a few examples in your mind, spend a little time reliving them.  Really pay attention to the details of the event and give yourself a pat on the back.  Feel how good it was.  Pay attention to your actions and let them become part of your conscious being.  OWN your successes. Own them to the point that nothing can ever take it away.  How do you feel right now?  Are you feeling strong and confident? Or does this exercise make you feel like you are on shaky ground?

Depending on how far you have buried your personal gifts, you may need to repeat this exercise a number of times to rebuild the paths back to your greatness.  You will find yourself starting to shift and a little voice speak up inside of you, acknowledging daily victories.  Listen to this voice and smile, you know its right.

Step by step, with your attention to your achievements, you will connect more deeply to your gifts, talents and genius.  Your connection will turn to belief and your belief into comfort.  When you become comfortable, you will want to show and use these wonders more frequently.  At this point, you will be living the life you were meant to be.  Those special gifts that were bestowed upon your being are your birthright and the basis of your life’s purpose.

Allow yourself to shine!

New Year Resolutions

Ahh, the new year has begun! It’s always special for me because I start each year with a birthday.  The double whammy of reasons to reflect on where I am and where I want my life to go,  struck me pretty strongly this year.  I decided that my resolutions would not involve specific goals – I save those for my strategic plans.  However, I do want to set intentions for how I’d like to see things in my life change and grow.

Setting an intention is very much the same as a resolution. Both infer making  determined effort to act in a certain way. Usually people define their resolution in broad terms and find that by the next week, all is forgotten.  I mean , can you honestly tell me what your resolution was for last year? If you can, you are among the very few.  Typical resolutions are about losing weight, reducing debt, or quitting smoking.  Because these are long term goals, which require a plan of action and great fortitude, simply stating them as a resolve is practically  guaranteed to sputter and wane.

This year I thought about what  I truly and deeply want in my life.   I drilled down each idea by playing the part of a 5 year old with an impetuous question of:  “Why?”   Some of my thought processes went like this: 

I would like to work with X number of new clients each month.

“Why?” This would allow me to help more people adapt to change in their lives and find meaning the meaning they truly desire.

“Why?”  Because this is a fulfillment of my dreams for my work, gives me great satisfaction and will provide the income I want.

“Why?” To live my life the way I choose.

“Why?” Because it will make me happy and bring joy to my life.

That’s it!  That is the key to all I do and all I desire! My life is formed, worked and built around bringing more joy in.   Profound stuff here.  So, with this new insight into my personal patterns, I set my intention for this coming year.  My intent is to do whatever it is that brings more joy into my life.

I’ve got a New Year Intention that will be easy to start and keep.  How could I possibly forget that I want more joy?  Now, when I sit down and plan my work strategic plan, all I have to do is ask myself is how each action will work to bring more joy into my life. Doing this will naturally spill out into all other facets of my life.  Think of this, if I spend too much time and energy working, it will prevent me from having joy with my health and relationships.  Thus, the efforts put into my coaching must be tempered with time for me and my family.

This realization in itself, has already brought more joy into my life and removed a lot of pressure from me.  Last year, I seemed to expend so much effort in struggle. Now, I will never have to live like that again.  Joy is the name of the game!

As I continue through this year, completing my strategies and implementing work, I shall endear to keep joy in the forefront and, in turn, bring this practice to my clients too.

I suggest to you to think about where can you add more joy to your life!

Little Steps Toward the Sun

“The sun – my almighty physician.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

I heard from many people that they feel they are in a mire of sluggishness and overall ‘funk.’  It’s not unexpected with the days getting colder and shorter here in New England.  This feeling is also a side effect of the constant negative information we are bombarded with from the media.

It’s okay to feel this way, but it’s not good to stay feeling this way.  Once you’ve discovered that you’re feeling low, use that knowledge as the first step to bringing yourself back up.  We can’t change something, until we are aware there is something to change.

Sometimes, changing your mood can be as simple as changing your place, position, or surroundings. This means that if you are lying in bed, get up! Take a shower, put on clean clothes and MOVE!  You might take a walk, or just go out for a drive.  The movement and change of surroundings will have an effect on your disposition.

Now, if you do this with the intent of specifically making yourself happier, you’ve taken an even bigger step.  Movement, plus intent, equals desired results.

Think about areas in your life where you are displeased or feeling unhappy.  Do you find that you  go into the same state of feeling when you think of them and then allow yourself to just wallow in that unhappiness.  If you want to change, you have the ability to do so!  Move yourself and then create your intent, then, watch for miracles!

Secrets to Living a Happy Life: Building Courage and Confidence

Are you someone who wants to transform their life, wanting to ramp up your business, wanting to add more joy and happiness to your life? Get a handle on what you DO want your life to look like?

You’re not the only one. In fact, there are lots of women out there looking for solid life strategies, – just like you. You want some direct coaching from the best – not just from a book. Without it, you don’t have as much accountability, you’re not implementing what you’re learning fast enough, you’re getting overwhelmed and frustrated.

Well, there’s actually a solution for that. Pat Mussieux, The Mindset-to-Happiness Mentor, is hosting a no-charge 60-minute content-filled coaching call where she’ll share her proven system for creating the life, and the business, you need and want.

Here’s the link to sign up: http://www.profcs.com/app/?Clk=4012096 It’s all happening Thursday, December 3rd at 8pm EST. To join me for this one-time-only call, just register below and you’ll get details right away. Will you join me? I can’t wait to see what she shares (she always gives so much): http://www.profcs.com/app/?Clk=4012096 =====================================

Show Your Joy

“Blessed are the joy makers” – Nathaniel Parker Willis

Do you have a friend or know someone who always makes you laugh? I do. They are the sort of people who will raise my spirits and leave me with a smile. Do you know people who are the opposite, and the option of running to hide is seriously considered when they approach? These folks seem to drain our energy with their complaints and stories of woe.

I’ve wondered if there is any great difference in the lives of these two types of people. Think of it, does the person who is joyful and raises your spirits have an easier road to tow than the complainer? Sometimes the joyful person is really the one with more things to be sorrowful for than the other, and yet, this person rises above with smiles and deep seated happiness that overflows onto everyone they greet. To them, life is indeed one big stained glass window, full of color, light and beauty. No matter how hard the going gets, joy is their companion.

Which type of person are you? While the folks described above are a little on the extreme sides of the spectrum, we all lean toward one side or the other. If you are unsure, think about your friends and acquaintances. We usually attract people like ourselves, so if you often think that your friends are negative, then evaluate what you are saying and talking about. If you are complaining constantly about the economy, or your family and don’t see much good in your life, well, guess which side you are leaning towards. Frequently, our conversation and negative talk is merely out of habit.

Becoming aware of your speaking habits is the basis to start to turn around and begin projecting joy. This will not only make your life happier, but will attract more positive and happy people into your life as well. How great to see someone’s face light up when they see you walking their way!

Tap Into Your Resources!

“When every physical and mental resources is focused, one’s power to solve a problem multiplies tremendously. ” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Are you tapping into all the resources you have available to you in your career change journey? It takes a group of people, resources, colleagues, customers, supporters, mentors and teachers to make a viable business. So who do you know, right now that can help you by providing information and partnerships.

One of the best ways to find job openings is through networking. Statistics prove that the majority of positions and the best jobs are never advertised. Estimates are upwards of 85% are filled by word of mouth and connections.

Who are your connections? Every person you know could be your connection and I can guaranty you know a lot of people! The average person knows or is in contact with at least 250 other people. If those 250 others know another 250 people, that immediately gives you approximately 62,500 contacts! This means that the probability for you being able to gain a connection to the right person, at the right time is very good. Provided you do your part. Your part is to go out and speak with these people, find out what they need and let them know what you need. Through the creation of these relationships it is easy to connect to new business links.

In order to tap into this vast resource, put together a list of people you know. Just grab pen and paper and start writing your list of everyone who comes to mind. Let the names flow, you can look up contact information later. Don’t rule out anyone because you think they don’t have information about an open position. Even grandma knows a lot of people and her neighbor’s cousin may be just the person you need to meet. This gives you an idea of how far reaching networking quickly becomes.

Some important things to remember when networking are to first, know what you want. By this point you should a clear understanding of present skills, the kind of environment which is best and what type of work is truly right.

Speak up constantly to everyone you meet so you don’t become “out of sight, out of mind.” Leverage every possibility to tell people what you are looking for, you just never know what connection will come your way.

It is important that you not expect the people in your network to find and secure a position for you. Your network is merely providing you with information of available positions. It is up to you to arrange meetings with the appropriate people within the organization, interview, negotiate and secure the position. The key point here is that you have better information about what is required for the position and how you will be a good fit.

Don’t overlook social networks online. Post your resume and set up your pages with your job search in mind.

Your network is your connection with the world. Stretch your thinking and don’t be afraid to ask questions, soon you be receiving amazing answers!

Each Day is a New Chance

“Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action, and purpose.”
Lance Armstrong

What are You Willing to Risk?

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~ Anais Nin

Sometimes, people ask me if I should not be promoting career change in this economy. After all, it’s risky. I must admit, career change is risky, but it doesn’t matter whether it is in a good economy or poor. Most of life is about risk, it’s merely a matter of the importance you attach to it.

Think about it, you are taking a risk even when you go to the movies. You are risking your $20, or so, that you will enjoy the movie and be entertained for a few hours. It doesn’t always add up, especially when the movie is a flop, but you are risking your cash against the reward of entertainment.

You also risk a lot when you get into your car and drive down the road. You are risking your well being on the trust that your car will function properly and you won’t veer off the road or have someone else hit you. That’s a pretty great risk when you think about it, and yet, most people do this every single day. Is it really any better, or worse to risk a career transition?

By the time someone is seriously considering job change, a lot of damage has already been done in their lives. They have suffered through numerous hours of frustration, boredom, and anxiety. The stress caused from a position that is making you unhappy doesn’t stop because you walk out the door at the end of your shift. Coming home is sometimes not a happy thing either because so much aggravation is built up inside, and believe me, your family notices. The wrong job can also cause you to question your own abilities, despite experience to the contrary, because of the tangled web that is created trying to justify why you stay and continue to muddle through each workday.

When you recognize that you can let go of some circumstances and move forward to something better, the thoughts surrounding the risk of making change start to shift. Inner turmoil is caused by the desire for something different. When the turmoil becomes too strong to deny, change is imminent. This is usually when I meet clients. At this point, neither the economy, time of year, nor year of life is enough to hold them back. It is more important to break out of the situation and thrive than the strength of the fear of any risks involved.

Think of the rewards when you make decisions, that’s what you risk doing things for – the reward. A rewarding career, which you enjoy and is meaningful, always shows itself to be well worth the risk.

I welcome your thoughts and comments on these articles.