I’m So Confused!
Many people know they want to make change in their life. They know that where they are now just doesn’t feel quite right, but they are also very unsure about what would be the thing to change. It’s like a pair of ill fitting shoes. They cover your feet, but it’s just not comfortable.
I speak a lot about becoming clear on what you truly want in your life and then you can set your focus to achieve it. But, I often get asked: “How do I do that? I don’t know for sure what I want.”
We all have dreams and ideas of a perfect life, but sometimes the life we are in doesn’t exactly fit into that description. Clarity is important so steps may be taken and attainable goals set in order to move in the direction of the desired outcome.
But exactly how do you gain that clarity? My experience has shown that clarity is the most difficult portion of creating a life map and a lot of time needs to be spent gaining insights into what is truly wanted by you. This is like an archeological dig. The area where a big “find” might be hidden is identified, then preparations are made, excavation begins, but gently. Finally, once clues begin to show, then the dust is carefully swept away to reveal the treasure.
Remember that life is not like some game that you play a few turns and win. There is only continued playing – this is all a process and one that will always continue. The “winning” comes in the form of new insights, openings, and releasing of various personal difficulties.
Begin by looking at a specific facet of your life, such as health, career, finances, relationships, etc. Begin to note what comes to mind about what you don’t like, or what is not working in your life with regard to that specific facet.
Next, make some notes about what you would like. Focus on one area at a time. After you have something written down about your likes and dislikes, think about what steps you can take, immediately if possible, to begin turning things toward what you do want.
For example: If your finances are not where you want them, list the things that are not working – you have too much debt, your income is lower than you’d like, your expenses are too high.
What would you like to see? Be specific here, too. Decrease debt by 30%, increase income by $XX, decrease expenses by $10%, increase savings by $XX per month.
See how having specific desires sets the stage to create goals? Once you have created some goals on this aspect, go back and look at another. Continue until you feel you have truly gained some insights into your honest and authentic desires.
Defining your dream life is first and foremost. When you know what you want you will always be able to base your decisions on how the outcome fits into your definition of a perfect life. You can look at an important fork in the road and determine if it will bring you closer to your dream life, or will it be a detour that slows your progress or even side tracks you completely.
You may already be living some aspects of your dream life and not know it or acknowledge it because there is a lack of clarity. Think of it, you are probably already on your way, but the signs are hidden under a veil of confusion! Spend some time with this project and you will really discover more of what you want and how yo can focus on it to bring it into reality.
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Lesley V. Ingves
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